I need to make a T-shirt. Possibly with a link to this blog. That way I don't have to have the same conversations over and over. I can just point to the t-shirt which will direct them to the blog and then we can talk about other things. ---Like World Peace or something like that.
I love the Holidays as much as a child from a divorced family can. Christmas Eve is Dad and Christmas Day is Mom. Everything before and after is a crapshoot. It usually goes better then I would have thought, but I still have those visions of perfect family Christmases in my head.
It seems though, around this time of year, that people feel it is their right and duty to remind me how old, single and obviously miserable I am because of the 2 previous describers. I am 29, and I am Single. But, I am not miserable.
Don't get me wrong. I realize I am climbing towards the top of that mountain known as 40 every day, but so what? When I'm sitting up in heaven on my 3893729 birthday am I really going to be concerned that in one more year I'm going to be 3893730!? Heck no. So what is the big deal. Yes I'm getting older. Yes my body makes funny creaky noises when I move at times and I forget things. But these things are temporary. Everyone gets old and wrinkled and creaky. This is not unusual. The "unusual" part comes with the next describer, SINGLE.
Put the word single out there at 19 and you'll get some glances. Put the word single out there when your 29, and they call out the Yenta Brigade. It is a disease that MUST BE CURED!, because you can not possibly be happy without a husband. Now I'm not one to twist scripture. I know it says that God did not think it was right for Man to be alone, but to this day I never remember hearing the phrase "God did not think it was right for Woman to be alone". Now, obviously I am being a tad ridiculous. I am not bashing men or hating on men. It's just that good Christian men are hard to find and even hard to capture, hit over the head, and drag to the alter...especially while in heels and a wedding gown with a trane.
Now I am being ridiculous. My point is though that for one reason, or another, even though I am 29 and Single I am still happy. I have my sad, silly, why me, moments. But the truth is I would rather be single for the rest of my life than marry the wrong man, because once you're married you're married. There is no Oops factor on this one. Which is part of the charm of being married. You are in it for the long haul. Together. Forever....or until one of you die...which ever comes first.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm just tired of having the same conversation. Yes I'm 29. Yes I know I don't look it. No I'm not married. No I don't have a boyfriend. No there is no one that has "caught my eye" as of late. Yes I have been reassured he is out there. ha ha (fake laugh) Yes when I least expect it he will come. .....Unfortunately "HE" is a constant conversation piece so I don't get time to NOT expect him....I am constantly made to feel like HE is something I'm missing. Like I'm walking around aimlessly and without purpose because "He is not completing Me" I have news for you chickies. I do not need any man or anyone else to "complete" me. I am complete. Jesus makes me complete.
Then they want to know my "type". I can see the wheels working as I list off a few characteristics I would like and they go through their list of single guys they know. Which is either immediately followed with oh you should meet Bob. Bob is really great and he breaths air too just like you. Or, if what I have described doesn't fit any of the guys on their list they say "Well how could You know what You like? Maybe you shouldn't have so many stipulations. You shouldn't be so judgmental."
My thought is this. If God thinks I need to be married it will happen. I will do my part and not be a hermit. I will get out and have fun. Bathe regularly and look cute on occasions and when ever the heck I feel like it, but I will not fret on it and have it consume my every thought and action. How strange would it be for me to be constantly checking out every man I meet with the singular thought of could I marry, kiss, have kids, and live with this man for the rest of my life without wanting to scratch either his or my eyes out at the end of the day. I would much rather just meet people and live my life and if it happens it happens. I think too many people see it as a check to be marked off a list. Graduate (Check), Find Job (Check), Find Mate (Check), Have Offspring (Check) and so on.
Why so much stress and pressure. God is in control. He'll work out the details. I just have to be listening, and following in the mean time. Not waiting to live until I get married, but living now and doing what God would have me do Now. I may never get married. How sad would it be for me to just be waiting and waiting and the entire time God had this Great plan for my life, but I was too busy trying to do what was expected of me that I missed it?
God's plans are always better. ALWAYS.
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